Football Daily | The unique embarrassment of being 36th in a football league table
October 1, 2024
Bayern Munich scoreboard showing the 9-2 victory over Dinamo Zagreb

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The unique embarrassment of being 36th in a football league table

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GOING DEEP

Europe’s most exciting and unpredictable competition continues on Tuesday night, and even a quick look at the early league table will tell you we’re in for a thrilling season. Famous old clubs crowd the summit, a handful of points cover the top 10 – and in this leviathan format, every point and every game matters. Truly, the Championship is the gift that keeps on giving – and even the division’s stragglers can have hope. This time last year, Russell Martin’s Southampton were 15th in the second tier, and look at them now, eh? Eh? Oh.

Elsewhere, Bigger Cup continues on Tuesday, with Celtic and Aston Villa among the teams enjoying the dizzying view from atop the new 36-team skyscraper of a league table. Even a 5-1 win couldn’t put poor Brendan Rodgers top of the tree, though, as habitual Big Cup bullies Bayern Munich boosted their goal difference with a 9-2 evisceration of Dinamo Zagreb, who were ruthlessly punished for trying to fight back from 3-0 down at the Allianz Arena. The Croatian champions are experiencing the unique embarrassment of being 36th in a league table (scroll for yourself, here), down in the depths below Paul Jewell’s Derby County, the 2024 Chicago White Sox and Jemini.

Much like the brutalised henchmen in Austin Powers [there’s a topical reference – Football Daily Ed], Dinamo’s struggles since Matchday One show there are real consequences to Bigger Cup cartoon beatdowns. Their manager, Sergej Jakirovic, vowed to “solve things myself” in the aftermath, before chief suit Velimir Zajec (once of Portsmouth) solved things for him. Having lost twice before the trip to Bayern, Dinamo were then gubbed 4-1 by the league’s bottom club, Slaven Belupo. With Niko Kovac saying thanks, but no thanks, to taking over, Dinamo have turned to former manager Nenad Bjelica, who oversaw a 4-0 Big Cup win over Atalanta back in 2019.

Bjelica begins with a home tie against Monaco – who beat Barcelona in their first match, for crying out loud – but the fixture list, and a format that makes pre-Christmas elimination almost impossible, offers hope. Their home tie with Slovan Bratislava on 5 November might be the first-ever Bigger Cup six-pointer. Slovan, somehow allowed to continue in the tournament despite losing 5-1 to Celtic, have scored 12 goals in three domestic games since, but have Manchester City rolling into town in second gear later. As for one-time Big Cup hoisters Feyenoord, down in 35th, they face a trip to Girona that a) must be described by law as “tricky”, and b) is technically the easiest game of their eight-match slate, statistically the toughest in Bigger Cup this season. Young Boys (currently 11th in the Swiss league) have the kindest schedule, which may not be much consolation as they head to Barça. “We won’t mark Lamine Yamal individually, we will try to control him as a team,” blathered manager Patrick Rahmen. Aye, good luck with that.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Scott Murray at 8pm BST for Bigger Cup updates on Arsenal 3-1 PSG, while Rob Smyth will be on hand at the same time with goal updates in his rolling clockwatch.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

It is not important anymore whether I am the best or not, I no longer care about that. It is good for a player to score goals, but for me it is better for the team to win. I am used to breaking records and I no longer look for them” – Cristiano Ronaldo, 39, claims to have finally twigged that football is a team sport.

It’s all about Al-Nassr these days.View image in fullscreen

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

As much as I appreciate Ken Muir’s concern (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) that if we followed the advice of Harry Webb (by the way, how nice to have Cliff Richard writing to Football Daily using his real name) and had voting for the letter o’ the day (Friday’s Football Daily letters) then it would mean vengeful people stopping me winning, all I can say is look what happens under the current system of Football Daily deciding anytime there’s a free book up for grabs” – Noble Francis.

The only way that José Mourinho story (yesterday’s Quote of the Day) could get better is if it transpires he was watching the game on his laptop via a dodgy stream. I can’t have been the only person who watched the video and tried to see if there was a firestick plugged in to the side of his computer” – Ed Taylor.

Imagine my disappointment when I clicked on the terms and conditions link in the hope of being directed to some humorous page, only to end up with the terms and conditions, which I then read out of spite” – Tony Purcell.

Dundee United do not have a player called Mo Sylla (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs – full email edition) . Dundee, however …” – Stuart McLagan (and 1,056 others).

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Ed Taylor. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

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Source: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2024/oct/01/football-daily-champions-league-stragglers-36th-in-table

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